


I'll See You In My Dreams

by coffee_mage



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Dreams, Gen, In which the author sets out to break your heart, Pre-Eleventh Hour approximately, Taako forgets Lup again and again, dreamscape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 16:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17901944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_mage/pseuds/coffee_mage
Summary: Taako is an elf.  He doesn't need to sleep, but he loves it.  He does it whenever he has spare time and his dreams always make him so happy.  He never remembers them, but that's just a reason to dream again, right?





	I'll See You In My Dreams

It was an absolutely beautiful day.The sky was blue and the air was cool enough that the warm suns overhead felt nice on Taako’s skin without overheating him.He turned his face upward and then tilted his head to the side, confused.Suns.Two of them.Twin suns in the sky.That was weird.It didn’t feel weird, but it was definitely weird.

“Every time, I swear,” came a voice with a distinct New Elfington accent.“You always notice the sky before you notice me.Gonna give a girl a complex.”

He knew that voice.He knew he knew that voice, but he just couldn’t place it.He turned and saw a face very much like his own.“Lup,” he whispered, a chill running over him.How could he forget _Lup_?How could he forget his twin, a piece of himself?

“You forgot me again, you little twerp,” she said. 

“One, not little.You’re only older by five minutes and I’m taller by half an inch.Two, I am _so sorry_.How could I—”

“It’s okay,” she said, sounding tired.“This always happens.It’s not your fault.She must have used Fisher to make you forget me.”

“Who? _Why_?”

“That’s not important.”

 “Yes it is!I can’t _forget_ you!”

“Every time I let you dwell on it, we lose the whole night to you getting pissed off.Night is all I get and I’m not willing to give it up.”

“It’s the middle of the day,” Taako said uncertainly.“It’s the middle of the fucking day and we’re… we’re home.How are we home?”

Lup swallowed hard and stepped forward.She put her hands on his shoulders.“It’s a dream.You can’t remember me when you’re awake.”

“I won’t forget you again.”

She pulled him in for a hug and squeezed tight.Taako knew every movement Lup had ever made and he knew this hug.She was about to lie to him and didn’t want him to see her face.“I know.It’ll be different this time.”

Taako pasted a bright smile on his own face before she released him.“So, if it’s just a dream, can we do anything we want?”

Her eyes were filled with tears and she threw her head back in a fake laugh.“Oh, you better believe it.Anything we want.Sky’s the limit.”

“Then let’s hustle pool and end the night swimming in gold.”

“Oooor we could not do the same thing we do every night and instead we could go rob a bank.”

 

***

 

“Then let’s hustle pool and end the night swimming in gold.”

“It’s my turn to pick.We’re going surfing.”

 

***

“Then let’s hustle pool and end the night swimming in gold.”

“Bullshit little brother, we’re going to go eat a cloud.”

“Clouds don’t have a flavour.Turns out they’re just water.”

“Well fuck that, this is a dream.It’s going to taste like apples and the feeling you get right as you cast a fifth level spell for the first time.”

“I can’t cast fifth level spells yet,” Taako said.“I’m still only fourth level.”

Lup looks like he slapped her.“Shit.Okay.New plan.We’re going to make Auntie’s turkey.”

“What’s wrong?”He hated knowing he was hurting her and not knowing why.

“It’s nothing.We’re making turkey.”

“Lup, just tell me.”

“I just forgot you lost levels for a second.”

“I _lost_ levels?”Taako freezes, thinks.“Fuck.I lost levels.I’m not just the greatest chef ever known, I’m a fucking incredible wizard!I’m going to _kill her_!”His brain gives a shudder and he feels a hell of a lot smarter all of a sudden.“It was Lucretia, wasn’t it?That’s the only thing that makes sense!Did she even bother looking for you?Where _are_ you?”

“Taako, don’t.”

“Don’t what?I’m going to kill her.I am going to transmute her bones into peanut butter and use it to make Angus sandwiches!”

“Stop it!”She looked brittle and tired in a way he hadn’t seen her look since the wars had gotten bad and they’d realized they’d fucked up.“Just stop.Stop making it about her!I’m _tired_ and I want to be with my brother and I want to just have some fucking fun!You’re the only person I can fucking talk to and I can only do it while you’re asleep and I can’t take it when you go off on her.I can’t fucking take it!It ruins my whole damn night and I’m _tired_ and I wish you never found me!”She stopped and breathed heavily, trying not to cry.

Taako’s mouth went dry.“I found you?” he said, as soon as he found the spit to talk.“I _found you_ and I don’t _remember_?”

“You don’t know,” she said softly.“You couldn’t.None of you could.Not even Lucretia and she’d remember me.If she did, she’d know where I am right now.”

“Tell me.”

“No.” 

“Lup, you tell me right now or I will pinch myself awake!”

“Then do it!You won’t remember this conversation next time you sleep, so I won’t have to deal with you!”

“Why are you being like this?If I know then I can help you!”

“You can’t!You won’t remember when you wake up!”

“Maybe some part of me will.”

“I’ll be the one who remembers!And I’ll have to deal with it!”

 

***

 

“Maybe some part of me will.”

“Just like you remember having this conversation before?”

“I’ve never had this conversation before!”

 

***

“Maybe some part of me will.”

“I’d like that more than anything, but you won’t and it’s going to break me!I’m a lich, Taako, remember?I’m a fucking lich!I’ll stop being me if you break me!”

Taako rocked back on his heels. “You’re dead.”

“Of course I’m dead!I couldn’t help you if I was alive.I’d be static and you’d… I don’t know.Maybe your brain would explode or something.”

His mind reeled.It was a lot to take in.“Were you alone?Or did one of us…Barry.Did Barry find you?Tell me you weren’t _alone_!”

“It doesn’t—“

“Of course it matters.We’re not _built_ to be alone!Why do you think I’m a fucking idiot and a monster without you?”

“You’re not a monster.”

“Yes I am!Have you _seen_ me?”

“You’re doing good things and I think… I think you’ll find me properly someday.I do.It’s just not now.”

Taako felt torn in two, felt the way he did when she disappeared and he couldn’t find her.Those were the worst days of his life and seeing her standing there in front of him now made something in him feel complete.“Let’s not fight,” he said.He couldn’t do this anymore.This was Lup and she was upset and she was still missing even though she was right there in front of him.He was breaking her and he couldn’t do it.He couldn’t see her unhappy without tearing himself apart.“Let’s put together a winter wonderland and make ourselves the most fabulous winterwear we can imagine.”

She stared a second, then swallowed and nodded.“That sounds good.”

Their winterwear was incredibly fabulous and, as always, it coordinated perfectly.They soaked each other in snow shoved down the backs and fronts of jackets and down pants and up skirts.When they started to get just the right amount of cold, they walked into a conveniently located fantasy ski chalet and Taako made them the most fabulous hot chocolate he’d ever tasted.Milky and rich with a hint of spice and a touch of cinnamon, every swallow was better than the last.

The whole dream shifted to the left little and he frowned.“What the fuck was that?”

Lup sighed and lowered her cup.“You’re waking up.”

“No, I refuse!”He squeezed his eyes shut.

“It’s okay.You have to wake up.Magnus and Merle need you.There’s an attack coming.”

 

***

 

“No, I refuse!”He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Angus’s magic lesson is in twenty minutes.”

 

***

“No, I refuse!”He squeezed his eyes shut.

“You’ve been asleep all morning.Magnus and Merle will come looking soon.You can’t sleep forever.”

He opened his eyes and drank her in, taking in every detail of her face, every tiny difference from his own.“But I’ll miss you.”

“No you won’t, you won’t remember me.”

“You think that matters?I’ll fucking miss you!”

“Hey, it’s okay.”She smiled and nudged his shoulder with her own.The smile was fake.Her heart was breaking and he could tell and she was lying just for him.“Maybe this will be the time you remember me.”

“You know what?I’ll bet it is.I couldn’t forget hot chocolate like this.”He didn’t believe it, but it was his turn to lie just for her.The world shifted to the left again, flickering.

“Definitely,” she said, taking the lie ball back.“I can feel it.”

“I’m going to feel so stupid when I remember how many times I forgot,” he said, taking his turn at the lie.He pulled her into a tight hug.

“Open your eyes,” she whispered in his ear.

He did.Merle was there, frowning and reaching for his shoulder.“You have not earned the right to touch this hot bod,” Taako said, his voice raspy with sleep and a lump in his throat.

“Gross.I was just gonna wake you up.You were having some kind of nightmare.”

“No I wasn’t.”He wasn’t.He’d been having the best dream he could imagine.He just… couldn’t remember.He never _remembered_ his dreams.

“You always have nightmares.I don’t even see why you sleep.You’re an elf, you don’t have to.”Merle frowned.

“Are you kidding?I _love_ sleeping.It’s my favourite thing.I only have happy dreams.”

“Then why are you crying?” Merle asked.

“I’m not!I’m happy.Now go away.My hair’s a mess.”

Merle gave him a strange look.“All right, if you say so.”He got up and walked out of Taako’s room, glancing back over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him.

Taako raised his hand to his face.It came away wet.“Huh.That’s weird.”


End file.
